Not mine just had this come as a email
Caravan Manifesto
I’ve been stuck behind a slow moving procession down narrow A-roads
in Cornwall too often to even give them room in the universe. They
should all go. And go now.
However, I suspect too many of our MP’s are members of that dark, satanic, miserable, organisation “The Caravan Club” –a death by a million cuts (too
good for them) may the wrecking ball of life collide with their
infernal box on wheels – to permit my Prime Directive – the elimination
of all caravans from the planet – to get too far here in the UK. No, I
think we should aim for small steps at first. So, to kick start that, I
present here my Caravan Manifesto.
1.
Caravans should be stored, when not in use (see below) in Car Breaking
Yards with large signs upon which are written in 500 point Verdana “Kick
Me”.
2. Owners can collect their caravans from said Storage Facilities between the hours of 11pm and 12am (midnight).
3.
Caravans can take to the road between the hours of 10pm and 5am (winter
months) and between 1am and 3am (summer months). Caravans seen on the
road outside those hours will be stopped, the owners laughed at and the
caravans seized.
4.
Caravans shall be given names appropriate to their size and styling.
Names shall include (but not be limited to) “Big White Lump”, “I Smell”,
“Lame 70’s styling”, “Poo stored in a little box”.
5.
Caravans creating a procession of more than three vehicles must pull
over and allow all vehicles behind to overtake. Caravans disobeying this
will be seized and impounded.
6. Caravans being towed by low powered vehicles (low power = anything less powerful than 2500bhp) will be seized and impounded.
7. It is permissible to retro fit cars with missile launchers for the express purpose of removing transgressors.
8.
Caravan owners who think their caravan needs a rotary washing line must
attend psychiatric counselling. Ditto for vacuum cleaners,
washer/driers and dishwashers
anj2015-02-19 20:53:01
Caravan Manifesto
I’ve been stuck behind a slow moving procession down narrow A-roads
in Cornwall too often to even give them room in the universe. They
should all go. And go now.
However, I suspect too many of our MP’s are members of that dark, satanic, miserable, organisation “The Caravan Club” –
good for them) may the wrecking ball of life collide with their
infernal box on wheels – to permit my Prime Directive – the elimination
of all caravans from the planet – to get too far here in the UK. No, I
think we should aim for small steps at first. So, to kick start that, I
present here my Caravan Manifesto.
1.
Caravans should be stored, when not in use (see below) in Car Breaking
Yards with large signs upon which are written in 500 point Verdana “Kick
Me”.
2. Owners can collect their caravans from said Storage Facilities between the hours of 11pm and 12am (midnight).
3.
Caravans can take to the road between the hours of 10pm and 5am (winter
months) and between 1am and 3am (summer months). Caravans seen on the
road outside those hours will be stopped, the owners laughed at and the
caravans seized.
4.
Caravans shall be given names appropriate to their size and styling.
Names shall include (but not be limited to) “Big White Lump”, “I Smell”,
“Lame 70’s styling”, “Poo stored in a little box”.
5.
Caravans creating a procession of more than three vehicles must pull
over and allow all vehicles behind to overtake. Caravans disobeying this
will be seized and impounded.
6. Caravans being towed by low powered vehicles (low power = anything less powerful than 2500bhp) will be seized and impounded.
7. It is permissible to retro fit cars with missile launchers for the express purpose of removing transgressors.
8.
Caravan owners who think their caravan needs a rotary washing line must
attend psychiatric counselling. Ditto for vacuum cleaners,
washer/driers and dishwashers
anj2015-02-19 20:53:01